Since Valentines day is only 1 week away I figured my blog should be about nothing other than...Love: A profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person. The first boy I ever said I loved was a boy named Travis in kindergarten. I quickly learned that it wasn't true love. Thankfully back then having a broken heart only lasted a day & after that it was on to the next! High school is when I finally fell in love for the first time. I always dated older guys & I told them all that I loved them. By this time I did love them all, but you can never love different people in the same way . My real first love started in 2007. At first I didn't care too much for him, but as time went on I knew there was something different about him. We had a lot of the same friends so I got to see him often & the second I got around him I got nervous ( I never get nervous btw!) We'd talk every night on the phone, which back in high school was what you did. We always played 20 questions which is silly, but sure enough we knew everything about each other by the end of the conversation. Our record was from 9pm to 6 am ( & we never ran out of things to say!) We started dating June of '07. We had both just got home from vacations with our families & the day we got home he asked me to the park & that's where it all started. After that day we were inseparable! He walked me to class, we shared a locker, we became bff's with each others best friends,we wrote notes in our notebook, pretty much everything you see young people in love doing, we did. Probably the craziest thing we use to do was one of us would walk to the others house at around 1 in the morning just to lay in bed with each other for 2 hours or so & then we'd walk the 3 miles it took to get home & be up by 6:30 for school. Love makes you do crazy things! The last time I talked to this guy was in November. I was at the Breaking Dawn premiere with my best friend & when I finally checked my phone I had 4 missed calls from him. We decided that after my movie was over I'd call him & we'd hangout. After I left the movie I called him & he was already waiting at my house for me. It was almost 2 A.M. & I was exhausted, but I didn't care. Everything was normal & things happened, but it all happened for a reason. I came across a love note written on a envelope that I had been laying on & that was my breaking point. (The I's were even dotted with hearts...Embarrassing!) Even though I was still in his car I couldn't look at him, I was shocked , disgusted with him, but I was mostly disappointed. After this night my feelings definitely changed. All I have to say is I've had a lot of good memories of love & a lot of bad ones, but I haven't closed my heart off. I love my family, friends, dogs, co workers, church friends & many others. I don't hate anyone that has ever done me wrong, I just don't respect them. Like I've always said,everything happens for a reason. If I wouldn't have had my heart broken I wouldn't have re evaluated my life. I have the best guy friends Corey & Laquan by my side, I wouldn't have become so close with Alexes & Landan, I wouldn't have re connected with old friends, I wouldn't have found my love for church & for all my new friends, & I feel like I finally find my voice again. Love is a very strong thing for me & I take it very seriously, I'm one of those hopeless romantics. Last Valentine's day wasn't so great for me ( bad memories!) , but this Valentine's day I plan to make fantastic! Every other year I have a Valentine & this year is my have a date year so we shall see! I hope everyone out there makes sure to let the person they love know that they love them!
XOXO, Sydney
No comments:
Post a Comment